Honoring My Soulmate

This month's Spiritual Journey reflection is based on the prompt from our host-Jone MacCulloch at Deo Writer:Musings to Spark the Spirit." How do you honor your ancestors and loved ones who passed?" 

My thoughts follow my difficult journey from April 2, 2025 when my soulmate passed into the hereafter. Life changed in so many ways during the first ten months. At that time, I decided to speak with a bereavement counselor. His office was in the Capital Caring Health Adler Center for Caring in Aldie, Virginia near my home. Adler Center is a beautiful, peaceful hospice that Richard's last breath was taken before entering the sanctuary of stillness. I believe that he found repose there. I also fiound tranquility each time I entered the building to deliver small boxed bouquets of flowers arranged by our Creekside Care ladies and meet with my counselor once a month.

As I quietly think about Richard, I look backward in time, 52 years ago when I  was introduced to my soulmate. There was an immediate connection between us even though I hobbled into a birthday party with a crutch (from a horrendous skiing accident several months before). We spent one weekend of conversations and a concert before Richard traveled back to Long Island, NY and I moved back to my home in Syracuse, NY. Richard often said that he was smitten from his very first look. The connection brought a strong sense of comfort, understanding, purpose, and love even though we were geologically unsuitable. Two years later we wed and I moved to Long Island for my next job as a reading specialist..

As the years moved on, there were many life challenges along the path we walked. I never gave up faith and hope that we would renew our vows on our 50th anniversary. Unfortunately that did not happen due to a rare terminal cancer that destroyed Richard's life. Within our life together we had fabulous memories that are held in my heart and one special event that brought sunshine and closure to my family's life. One and a half years from the day Richard passed, I corresponded with Arlington National Cemetery administrators on whether he could be interred in the columbarium section. Our funeral director was instrumental in making this happen on August 27, 2026. That day was a beautiful one. The family gathered to place Richard's ashes in the niche of the columbarium after the military ceremony. After that I received a letter that stated Richard's status was moved from Private to Private 1st Class. A plaque will be placed in the niche that reminds us of the service Richard provided during the five years in the NYC Army Reserve and 4 months of active duty along with the NYC Postal Strike that his unit was called in to deal with.  I look forward to returning to Arlington National Cemetery with the family and friends in late December to see the the plaque and bring Christmas greetings.

As I walk my new spiritual journey, I try to tuck grief in a small hidden pocket so hope and positivity can remain in my heart. While this does not happen often on this journey, faith keeps me moving forward. I look back to the poems I have written throughout our early days of visiting back and forth, our engagement, and finally the marriage. Writing poetry has been a lifesaver and blessing for me. For me, this is a way to honor my beloved husband and soulmate.

My early poem after the passing was a lament poem, Last Days of Richard's Spiritual Journey. I am adding the opening to remind me of a solemn memory. 

In the sterile silence, 

Drifting words rose 

From the depths of his soul

Into the morning light.

I wish I had four more months!

The ordeal of terminal illness,

Filled his eyes with unquestional fear.

I prayed seeking answers.

When will this sorrow end, Lord?

Between restless sleep and days

Of not eating or barely drinking,

He whispered to me,

You know what is happening! 

My heart broke hearing the truth.

How could I soothe his tattered soul? (The rest of the poem can be read here.)

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Whispers in the November Wind

November breezes sweep on through, 
Tip-toeing softly with the leaves. 
I whisper to the autumn wind, 
Wondering whose soft voice I hear.

Tip-toeing softly with the leaves, 
I pause within the hush of day. 
Wondering whose soft voice I hear?                                                                                                   It is not nature’s gentle sound.

I pause within the hush of day,
Now stilled before the voice of God.
It is not nature’s gentle sound,
And yet the journey must go on.

Now stilled before the voice of God, I gently mend my saddened heart. And yet the journey must go on, Without my soulmate by my side.

I gently mend my saddened heart,
With steady faith to carry me..
Without my soulmate by my side,
I walk alone among the leaves.

Still listening for his tender voice,
I whisper to the autumn wind,
Hoping my life will be renewed.
November breezes sweep on through.

Draft ©CVarsalona, 2026

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Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. - Quote from Desiderata by Max Ehrmann silence. 

Today's Poetry Friday Roundup is hosted by Carol Labuzetta

at Carol at The Apples in My Orchard. Carol is honoring Veterans and sharing her photo collection on a recent trip to Flanders Field America Cemetery that she says is a somber place.