Vacations are meant for enjoyment, a relaxed pace, and lingering in the wonder of just being. This past week, my family soaked in the blessings of nature during a wonderful mini-vacation to Cape May, New Jersey. The ocean called to me and I could not resist its invitation to indulge in the art of leisurely living. After all, I miss the beach, slow walks on the boardwalk, and soaking in the sun's rays.
When summer seas combine with sunlit skies
and waves crest in diamond-studded waters,
high expectations rise.
Nature offers a sweet surprise
of creamed-colored seaside dreams
when summer seas combine with sunlit skies.
Nature does not always comply. Storms arise
with abrupt torrents causing harm. Will
high expectations rise?
Summer has its ups, downs, but softly sighs
as rainbows arc the sky with grace
when summer seas combine with sunlit skies.
As a marshmallow-colored sky dries,
Nature clears away some fears. Will
high expectations rise?
Alas, the season waves its goodbyes
passing its torch to autumn's brilliant flame
when summer seas combine with sunlit skies
high expectations rise.
©cv, 2021, draft
The villanelle is a challenging nineteen-line poetic form of five tercets followed by a quatrain. You can read more about it at Writers Digest. When the Poetry Sisters decided that this month's challenge would be a villanelle around some kind of dichotomy, I cringed. I never wrote a villanelle before and I just came back from a delightful vacation. So I slipped into this challenge knowing that I needed support. I am open to any suggestions on how to improve this poem because I know that is ROUGH around all edges. At least, I tried something that was way beyond my comfort zone.
Unfortunately, my timing is off so excuse me as I tiptoe into the Poetry Friday Roundup at my poetry friend Becky Herzog's blog, Sloth Reads. Happy International Friendship Day, Becky! Thanks for reminding us and sharing your recent summer poem swap from Jone MacCulloch.
Wow, Carol, I think your villanelle is beautiful. It paints images for me with your words. The wrap up in your final quatrain is gorgeous, and everything above has led up to it. I love that image of summer waving its goodbyes and "passing its torch to autumn's brilliant flame"--so lovely. Good for you breaking out a challenging form and then molding it to fit you. Well done, and I'm so glad you got to enjoy Cape May for a wonderful summer vacation of "enjoyment, a relaxed pace, and lingering in the wonder of just being." Even your first sentence is poetry.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Denise for your comment. I enjoy reading my poet friends' thoughts on my work. It is not only difficult to write a villanelle but to question oneself on the outcome.
DeleteI'm so glad you got to enjoy some beach time. That must have felt like a breath of fresh air for you! Your resulting villanelle is just lovely, Carol, and I especially like the line, "passing its torch to autumn's brilliant flame." I'm loving reading the variety of villanelles on PF today--so impressive! This form is tough!
ReplyDeleteMolly, I loved being on vacation with my little grandgirls and am glad that Cape May and the ocean provided me with needed inspiration. Thanks for stopping by to comment.
DeleteWe enjoyed Cape May last week too--take a peek at my Facebook for our cycling adventure travelogue. Carol, I don't know why you think this is so roughly far from the goal--I think your two repeated lines are just right. However, your questions hint at the existential dread none of us can escape even while truly relaxing at the beach--maybe that's why you feel uncomfortable. Our discomfort is what will save us, save the planet for my kids and your granddaughters. It's a good poem!
ReplyDeleteHeidi, I will have to travel over to FB to see your adventure in Cape May. What a beautiful place to live life to its fullest, even if it is only for a short vacation. Save the planet is a great thought to end my day and restore faith in my ability to meet a writing challenge.
DeleteThis is beautiful, Carol! I especially love the line: "Summer has its ups, downs, but softly sighs". Thanks for sharing. The villanelle seems like a tough form to master, but you've done a wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteWhile I do love summertime, it is never free from ups and downs. But the sunshine and leisurely pace makes it a time to deal with those downs. A villanelle is tough to write but I am so pleased to have completed the challenge.
DeleteLet's just call this villanelle-ish and label it a total success! Your repeating lines hold so much truth, and your final stanza is fabulous. Well done!
ReplyDeleteMary Lee, your comment is like a shot of adrenalin that makes me want to try another villanelle. Thanks for the support.
DeleteAhhhhhhh, lovely. So peaceful and full of family love and memories. "ups and downs" has to be my favorite.
ReplyDeleteLinda, ups and downs aptly describes this summer but that is life, isn’t it? Here’s to more ups for the last weeks of summer vacation time.
DeleteIt sounds like you had a lovely holiday by the sea. I love your descriptive language: "diamond-studded waters" and "marshmallow-colored sky." My hat is off to all the people who wrote villanelles this week. It looks like a very challenging form!
ReplyDeleteElisabeth, the sky and ocean offered such inspiration for me to write this poem. Our summer holiday was just wonderful and so I am now enjoying all the photos.
DeleteI love Cape May! It's my favorite beach town. Your words are beautiful. Carol, and you created some beautiful images. I especially like the ending and the feeling of summer passing the torch. After reading so many wonderful villanelles I will definitely have to try one myself!
ReplyDeleteI would love to read your villanelle when you work on one, Rose. Cape May holds some lovely memories from the past and now a beautiful one to add to my Cape May thoughts.
DeleteOh, I think you rose to the challenge admirably, Carol! We all really wrestled with this form this month - one thing that helped us was to try and stick to a certain number of syllables in our repeating lines - we noticed, reading some mentor poems by Wendy Cope and of course Dylan Thomas - that they stuck with eight, six, or ten syllables for those lines. You've got a strong start, and I like it - especially those cream-colored and marshmallow beach images! Soft and beautiful seaside air... ::envious sigh::
ReplyDeleteTanita, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I did notice syllable counts and tried to come close to a uniform number. I am feeling happy that I tried out a new form and look forward to writing another villanelle soon. See you next month for the challenge.
DeleteNature clears away some fears--indeed! I'm so glad you enjoyed you our getaway, Carol! I like your verbs and wide-ranging comparisons--diamonds and marshmallows...many lovely moments. I really struggled w the villanelle this month. I think you did admirably well!
ReplyDeleteLaura, our mini-vacation was just what we needed! Seeing the ocean again was inspirational-a renewal of life. Thanks for stopping by. You must be very busy with the move. Good luck!
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