"January is the month to let go of fear and embrace transformation." - AI
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When the Poetry Sisters (Tanita, Laura, Mary Lee, Liz, Sara, Tricia, and Kelly) announced their January challenge, write a tan-ku, a tanka followed by a haiku, I paused because I was unaware of this poetic format. It was time to pick up the snow shovel and dig deep. I started by staring at my photos sharing winter's dazzling scenes of quietude. Then, I turned on the world news with updated reports on the world's sadness. So I picked up my computer mouse and began to compose a tan-ku. It was time to embrace a new format.
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This worked for me but I decided to concentrate on the mentor poem, Hubrus by Marko Kiakubo & Deborah P. Kolodji the Poetry Sister offered. My first poem did not look as terse as Kiakubo's and Kolodji's poem, so once again with a shovel in hand, I paused to create another poem.
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Winter Frame
Let's gather to honor "love as the poetry of the senses"!
(Honore de Balzac)
Carol, I like both of your tan-ku, and I like how you trimmed down the second one. I have heard that Japanese syllables are so much smaller than ours that it doesn't make sense to have so many English syllables in tanka, haiku, etc.
ReplyDeleteI like the image of "nature plays in its snowground" and then the last line in both "world tears up" is poignant and makes me feel melancholy for that truth.
Denise, I appreciate your comment on my different poems. It is always helpful to have a second pair of eyes. I hope you can add a heartnote, etc. next week to your post so there can be a variety of perspectives on love as the poetry of senses.
DeleteHi Carol,
ReplyDeleteI honestly like BOTH tan-ku; the first maybe leans more in to the Western rules of syllables and length, but the second definitely captures the feel of the mentor poem - the second stanza especially sharpened to perfection.
I am really a very poor student of the haiku, and I always admire people who can both make them work and effectively edit them! I'm taking notes!
-tanita ☺
Tanita, thank you for your response to my poems. Your last comment was a surprise since you are an excellent writer. Have a wonderful beginning to February.
DeleteI love them both, too, Carol. Being out in the winter's wonderland brings poetry to us every time, doesn't it? "world tears-up" is special!
ReplyDeleteLinda, thank you for always commenting on my blog posts. Winter is turning partially green this week. There must be a poem under the frozen ice.
DeleteYour "world tears-up" really says it all—Thanks for these two very powerful poems Carol, they both say so much with so few words! My challenge is to keep politics out of your challenge, which presently will be hard, thanks!
ReplyDeleteMichelle, write your poem as you see fit. Your heart has much to say.
Deleteohhh that last stanza hit me. Thank you for sharing your words today.
ReplyDeleteSarah, at this time in life, tears seem to be shed daily.
DeleteThat last line. Yep. So true.
ReplyDeleteMarcie, I am unhappy that we have to live on the verge of tears so many times.
DeleteI love that word, quietude. It's soft and pretty and inviting. The world is tearing up.
ReplyDeleteEverything seems to move from quiet peace to sadness and disharmony, Linda.
DeleteTwo very powerful poems, Carol. I'm glad the phrases "world tears up" and "world sheds tears" appear in both, although so sad it is a reality. I like the compactness of the second poem.
ReplyDeleteRose, I appreciate your comment. I am shocked at the multitude of horrific events in this the world. I felt that mankind should understand the depth of sorrow. The words I ended my poems with were heartfelt. I hope you create a love note to February for next week.
DeleteYes, yes, Carol the tears of the world are seen by the sky & become part of everything. You fotos are stunning. I'm new to Tan-Ku & feel you me the mark. So happy for your Valentine hosting. I'm unfamiliar with the Ted Kooser quote - istill plan to write my valentine poem for my BeLoved Hubby, so his quote intrigues me. Thanks for sharing all your goodness.
ReplyDeleteAppreciaitons for the great shout-out, too.
That image of the world crying. Sigh. It's a hard time, both for humans and for the planet. Thanks for sharing your drafts and graphics, Carol!
ReplyDeleteLaura,thank you and your Poetry Sister for your challenges and support. Have a wonderful week.
DeleteThanks for writing with us, Carol. And for this beautiful, heartbreaking, frozen moment...
ReplyDeleteLiz, Otis wonderful having you and your Poetry Sisters support with comments.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you for the inspiration! I'll start thinking about something romantic for this week's poem - it'll be our 22nd Valentines together, so I think I should be able to come up with something. ;-)
ReplyDelete22nd Anniversary-Congrats! I look forward to your romantic poem, Jane.
DeleteCarol, "clear sky blinks/world tears up" really got me but I liked the first one too. The second one felt more like capturing a mood to me, while the first one felt like a moment.
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