It has been a long, lonely walk since my husband passed away on April 2, 2025. It feels as though I walked through valleys flowing with torrents of rain, waiting for a sign that would wash away sorrows. Upon waking, I realized that I dreamed of still waters that framed our summer days on Long Island.
I remembered those scenes were we talked, dreamed, and felt the freshness of life. Yet remembering is difficult when grief haunts life. In Long Island, I could find still water spots where peace existed each summer. We were able to drive twenty minutes to enjoy carefree days at the beach. We enjoyed both still waters and days of fast rushing waters. As I look back on photos of past summers, I realize that the times of still waters were also filled with spirituality. There was a spirit of peace at the shore as if God was giving us fuel to propel our journey. Even when we experienced challenging, roaring waters, we could move from these faith-shaking events to deal with the issues before us.
BUT during this year's late winter and early spring, we were tossed, shaken, and left befuddled by the reality of a rare disease that broke down our psychological well-being and dispositions. We needed still waters for spiritual rest. Unfortunately, that did not come readily. On the last day of my husband's life we found the peace he needed. Each member of the immediate family, felt the spirit of the Lord surrounding my husband as he moved from the transport van to the hospice room, a place of peace and spiritual rest. It was there that he laid in the still waters of faith and let his spirit be lifted from this world.
Since the last day, I have searched for ways to relieve anxiety. The well-know Psalm 23 offers a pause that slowly leads me to a new path on the spiritual journey. With that and Leanna Crawford's Still Waters music video, I feel the cool refreshment of spirituality. Listen to the beautiful song, Still Waters, based on Psalm 23.
Oh, the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He leads me by still waters 'til my fears are gone.
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I wake to summer dreams that flow like still waters.
Even without you, I know you are with me.
The Lord's scripture remains on my heart
and goodness flows like the creek's water.
©CV, 2o25
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Today is bright with sunshine. The house is quiet.
I know that I shall find my way on the Spiritual Journey.
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I join my Spiritual Journey Thursday host, Karen Eastlund who leads us through the theme "still waters" today. Karen shares a remarkable series of adventures she and her husband enjoyed over the years. Her closing thought is "I can think of nothing more beautiful and life-giving than water". Her photo of the sun setting over the still waters of Minnesota is awesome and calming. Click here to read Karen's Blog and other Spiritual Journey writers' post.
Carol: I feel the grief and anxiety in your post and I send prayers for peace and beauty to fill you. Your heart is heavy now. I pray that the load will slowly grow lighter, that the steps ahead will become clearer, and that your memories of still waters will buoy you up. Thank you for sharing your journey and for the beautiful song.
ReplyDeleteDear Carol - know that you remain in my mind and heart. Even in this time of grief, and in relearning life without Richard, your words are like a balm for us readers. Always you point us toward the thing that matters most: the Lord and His great love. I have spent much time thinking about His provision lately. In fact, in rereading the Bible, it is one of the things that jumps out over and over again: his provision. Not to mention His sovereignty. The peace that your family felt when it was Richard's time to go - "his spirit lifted from this world" - is testimony to both the provision and sovereignty of God. In the Sunday School lesson I am teaching this Sunday, I find this note: "The ultimate hope of miracles is not that we will have healing in this life or that one day we will become wealthy but that one day He will wipe away every tear and that disease and sickness will be gone" (Rev. 21:1-4). We hold fast to that promise! Thank you as always for sharing from the bountiful beauty of your heart. One of God's finest :)
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