At this time of year when the weather is chilly and winter settles in, I reminisce about life.
Five years have passed since we moved to our newly-built home in Virginia. For the past twelve years I have chosen one word, to help me guide my journey. Now, I stand at the precipice of life, wondering how to move forward without grief nudging every day.
In January 2025, I chose the word, renew, to guide me. I believed that this one word would move me from what faded to newness. Then in mid-February, an explosive event turned everything around. Some of you may know the story. My husband entered the hospital to later found out that he had a rare form of cancer. An incurable tumor was lodged in his pancreas and metastasized to the liver. Within less than a month, my husband passed into the eternal silence. Just before Christmas during a restless night of sleep, I heard my husband's voice calling my name. The poem below is my remembrance of that night.
Life moves on with the drop of the NYC Times Square Ball. Minutes change from 2025 to 2026 and so I will move forward.
While I am late for the Poetry Friday Roundup with our host Catherine Flynn, I add my blog post. Catherine offers an inspirational quote and an original poem on January.
"And now we welcome the new year.
Full of things that have never been."
Rainer Maria Rilke
Carol, your poem captures the wonder of hearing your husband call to you. I hope it remains a guide this year as you continue to travel such a difficult path in moving forward.
ReplyDeleteCarol, I think the voices of our most beloved will be with us always. Thank you for sharing your lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment that offers positivity. I look forward to hear my beloved's voice return in the silence of night. Happy New Year!
DeleteSometimes renewal isn't the pleasant sloughing of spent layers, is it? You've been through it this year, Carol, but the golden bell of your husband's voice in the silence shows you are not utterly alone at the precipice. I love the line "winds chill and stir"; the whole small poem is thing of beauty.
ReplyDelete2025 was so hard for you! Thank you for sharing your experience and your poem with our community. I hope that 2026 will be contain some healing and hope.
ReplyDeleteHold on to that special memory, Carol, with your new poem written from your heart. Each day can be rough, but you can keep your husband's life close as you share about him, keeping who he was for family, especially the grandchildren. Hugs to you carrying on in 2026.
ReplyDeleteLinda. I woke this morning to your response and am touched by it. I am so happy to hold on to the dream and the poem I wrote. it is something that will stay with me, even in challenging times. Thank you for your friendship.
DeleteI'm so sorry for the pain that has accompanied you this past year, Carol. What a gift to hear your husband's voice and to celebrate that in a poem. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOh, Carol, you've had to renew yourself and your life again and again this past year, in ways no one could have foreseen. What a touching poem, and such a moving moment for you. It gave me goosebumps. I know that Richard will always be with you, and I'm so glad you felt him to be near you that night.
ReplyDeleteCarol, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband is dealing with cancer now and it is a difficult road. Thank you for being brave to share such a meaningful part of your journey.
ReplyDeleteMy mother came to me in a vision after she passed and gave me the gift of these words:
"Cathy, You have no idea. It is more than you can imagine." They gave me great comfort and peace.
God bless you, Carol, and all who are missing their loved ones. I hope that your writing with help you with your grief.
What a complete blizzard of a year, Carol. I’m amazed at the strength you’ve found and your steadfast posting is testimony to it. I’m wishing you peace and the ability to move forward at what ever pace suits you. Sending love too.
ReplyDeleteMy parents still bless me with appearances in my dreams now and then. It is such a comfort. I know that though they are gone from the earth, they live on in me. The same is true of your beloved husband. You honor his life by continuing to life yours. Be strong. Find ways to be happy. Know that you are well loved by this community. We support you.
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