They say the mind is garden-like, with thoughts as sprouting seeds
*but I’m left holding cuttings I’m not sure where to plant
Weedy-thick, the prickly buds of odd logic bloom:
*You don’t cry anymore, but you sing all the words.
Each line in a different language as the light shifts,
*trees turned so orange the road looked blue.
Words tangle, colors muddy in the palette.
*I am no longer winsome to the sun.
*a whole sun’s rise to share
there goes the one that got away
*found a bit of sunflower
and plucked every petal (by the way, he loves me)
and then I remembered
*That’s what you wrote about the green beans
Stockpile, then, that snap and sass to sweeten your September.
A dedicated space to ponder, reflect, and converse about life, literacy, and learning
Tuesday, August 29, 2023
#PoetryPals August Challenge
Have you ever heard of an exquisite corpse poem? It has a strange name but it does not have anything to do with spooky happenings. It is a collaborative poetry game. For the August Challenge, the Poetry Sisters: Tanita Davis, Sara Holmes, Liz Scanlon, Mary Lee Hahn, Tricia Stohr-Hunt, Laura Purdie Salas, and Kelly Ramsdell collaborated to create an Exquisite Draft and also their own individual poems. Poetry Pals: Michelle Kogan and Linda Mitchell also partnered to write their own version. Since my time was limited this month I decided to use the Exquisite Draft that the Poetry Sisters wrote and branch off on my own. If you visit Linda Baie's Poetry Friday blog, you can find the individual poems from the above poets.
An Exquisite Draft by Tanita, Sara, Liz, Mary Lee, Tricia, and Laura
I took wording from the draft poem to create a nostalgic moment about my Nonnie's garden. I superimposed my text on a digitized original photo of one section of my Long Island garden.
A Look Back
My draft with thanks to the Poetry Sisters' creative challenge
*Excuse the typo error with the word lonesome.
With the start of a new school year, teachers might consider using mentor text to help students compose their own versions of a topic using a specific poetic format, the Exquisite Corpse poem. I now join Two Writing Teachers, a reflective community of writers, and hope to get feedback on what I wrote since this is the first time I played with this poetic form.
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Love this intro to Exquisite Corpse poetry, Carol! The draft just dances - all those images and those in your own poem of looking back are so vibrant. "Sing to the flowers that bloom"... the tears of the little gardener and all the symbolism of summer's end are so poignant, yet laced with hope and appreciation for "sweet September". So perfect and timely!
ReplyDeleteFran, thank you for your comments. They are always positive and supportive. I thank the Poetry Sisters for sharing their process with the Exquisite Corps draft poem as a mentor draft text with great word choices. May you enjoy a Sweet September with your litlle granddaughters.
DeleteAs I am about to embark on planning our upcoming poetry unit this slice and poem inspire me to make sure we give new ideas space and time.
ReplyDeleteCarol, your poem brought back memories of my grandmother's garden because she also had flowers and vegetables planted. I like the image of the lonesome sunflower standing tall. Not only does it catch the rays of the sun, but it stands as a sentinel watching over the other flowering plants. A reminder that there is always someone watching over us.
ReplyDelete(For some reason I couldn't comment under my Google account. This is Bob.)
Bob, I hope you enjoyed your grandmother's garden as much as I enjoyed romping around my Nonnie's glorious garden. As I read your comment, I realized I made a typo error for the word lonesome. That goes to show me that writing late past twelve is not a good idea. Of course, the typo is on a digitized copy with a no return policy. I do like the image you presented of the sunflower being a sentinel. Having someone watch over my refining process would be a great idea. Have a great week.
DeleteCarol, the song within is beautiful. I was touched by the flowers singing, "Cry no more, my little gardener, / sing to the flowers that bloom." And then that last line that reminds us of long ago. Nostalgic and makes me glad to remember "sweet September" is coming.
ReplyDeleteDenise, because the mentor text with great word choices was already set, I felt more at ease with creating a new poem. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Delete