On Understanding Grief

It has been a long process to understand what grief is and how to manage its effects on life. At the end of July my family will travel to Cape May and Long Island to celebrate my husband as per his wishes. We have so many memories of those amazing summer days at the shore, frolicking in the ocean, eating fresh seafood, and watching little grandgirls enjoying the sunshine and ice cream. 

One of fellow writing poets, Linda Mitchell, sent me a comment on my recent blog post, Understanding Grief. It's not necessarily the memory of a thing but how a loved one interacted or responded to a thing that is the sharp edge of a memory." This blog post as created based on Linda's thoughts and support.

Memories appear in my conversations, photos, and life events. The family and I respond with loving thoughts of my husband who has been part of my life for 50 years, if we count the 2 years before we married. At the end of July we would have been married for 49 years. At the different shores that we travel to we will remember what was in our sunkissed summers and what will be as we celebrate Richard who loved the Long Island shore, especially at Jones Beach, Long Beach, and Rockaway Beach. Long before I met him he and his friends spent summers enjoying their time with each other at the ocean so the family will do the same this vacation. There will be beach time, traveling to favorite restaurants, enjoying a variety of ice creams, and meeting with friends we have known for years, all to honor Richard.   

As Charles Bowden said, " Summertime is always the best of what might be." Add to that William Carlos Williams' quote, "In the summer, the song sings itself". Summer is the season that families enjoy and so we are already making our itinerary and gathering our clothes for 9 days of vacationing in nature's waters and sunkissed sands. 

A Memory for Richard

 

sending summer's sunkissed thoughts

beyond the gates of heaven

where eternal peace flows

we will dig into summer sands

splash into diamond-sparkling waters

and honor your summertime state of mind

©CVarsalona, 2025

🩷We Remember Long Beach's Summers that Brought Sunshine and Joy🩷

©CVarsalona, 2025, digital art

In Jeremiah 31:13 it says "I will turn their morning into joy".

This heavenly promise will help me turn mourning into joy as I continue my journey of healing and renewal. I embrace hope during our upcoming celebration that honors my husband, who was a loving father, and grandfather.

I join today's SLICE OF LIFE at Two Writing Teachers,

a  place where reflective writers write,share, and give.

Understanding Grief

On July 2, 2025, Tabatha Yeatts (this week's Poetry Friday host) sent me an email about a Poetry Workshop at 7 pm that I might be interested in attending. One hour before the workshop began, I emailed Jena at Evermore and inquired about "The Mystery of Grief-Writing into the Loss" with Evermore Poet Laureate Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. I was happy to join the  Zoom event on short notice. Over 45 attendees were on the Zoom call. Each person experienced grief in different ways. Rosemerry, the poet presenter, was a caring poet with a genuine spirit who encouraged everyone to write for themselves. I heard the words, "Today, grief is settling in my heart". With this prompt, I knew I was in the right place.

During the two-hour workshop, there were poems to listen to, comments to be made on Zoom or in the chat box, writing time, and small group chats. Rosemerry led us through each step in her calm manner, encouraging everyone to use as many senses as we could when writing.  Prompts such as "Write directly to grief and about it.", and "What is your relationship to grief?" were shared. The small groups opened the door to deeper conversation. There was something solemn and safe about being with a community of people who experienced grief in their lives. Rosemerry let us know that she also felt the pangs of grief at an earlier time, but she continually smiled sharing her hopes with us. You can read about Rosemerry at her website. In her Daily Dose of Poetry section, there is one poem that really touched me.

It's the Forth of July Again July 3, 2025

And I didn't go buy fireworks today. Not yesterday, either. Nor will I buy them tomorrow because you will not be here to light them. I realize now what I loved about fireworks was how much you loved them, the way you brightened when the fuse was first lit, the way you glowed near incandescent as the sparks and colors fountained and flashed. And […].  -Rosemerry

During the 15-minute writing section of the workshop, I composed the following quick write prose poem based on Rosemerry's prompt suggestions:

All I know is grief comes with a sigh, caught between sorrow and acceptance. It floats on memories that settle in my heart. Grief tugs, flows, and drops words like acorns quietly falling from autumn trees. Grief knows no boundaries. It is heavy until the day it moves on. It never removes itself totally, at least not now in the raw stage that I am in. - CVarsalona, 7/2/2025

Post-Workshop Thoughts:

I have felt the pain of loss and overwhelming sadness about losing my husband so unexpectedly. Yet, tears don't flow as much now with help coming from faith. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3 is comforting and allows me to hope that it will bring renewal. I thank Evermore and Rosemerry for The Mystery of Grief-Writing into the Loss workshop. It was a safe spot to speak to others who understand grief as an emotion that surrounds life during this new, raw period. Rosemerry's soft voice, story, and songs inspired me to pen the following poem a few days later.

Post-Workshop Inspirational Quote and a Golden Shovel Poem:

The faith that I love the best, says God is hope!

-Charles Peguy's The Portal of the Mystery of Hope

 I walk into the heat of the

Summer season with strong faith

Reliving past moments that

Belong to our summers. I

Feel the warmth of everlasting  love

Along with challenges during the

Years we shared our best

And worst times. Who says

We walk alone when God, 

Our protector  is

Sending hope. 

CVarsalona, July 2025

Join me at Tabatha Yeatts at The Opposite of Indifference for the POETRY FRIDAY Roundup. Each week, she has different types of poetic goodness, artwork, and interesting thoughts for the poetry community.

Photos Turn to Poems

Sunshine peeks through my windows. Today's a writing day under the sun. I open my digital journal and consider the writing prompt provided by Jenna Korman from Two Writing Teachers: "What in your life is writable about today? Summertime surrounded bu beautiful gardens, layered sunrises, and tranquil sunsets always sets the mood for a dazzling day despite the heat.

I take out the drafts of poems suited to pair with the beautiful pictures shared by Margaret Simon, the host of This Photo Wants to be a Poem. Below you will find how lovely the summertime nature photos address the writing prompt provided by Jenna Korman.

Nature is filled with beauty that opens the sky each day.

morning sunshine winks

layered darkness sits above

unpredicable

summer weather dilemma

nature plays in the background

CVarsalona, June 2025 draft tanka

Photo by Margaret Simon

water

silently still

welcomes whispering wind

breezing by the daisies

awakening

CVarsalona, June 2025 draft elfchen

Photo by Molly Hogan

A New Thought for the 4th of July

"Miss Liberty, at Dawn's First Peep, Awakes the Echoes from Their Sleep"

(Original Postcard from Turn-of-the-19th Century)

It's Friday, July 4th. Happy Independence Day and Poetry Friday. The Inklings are writing poems of protest for our nation’s birthday. They invite other writers to use their voices and their art to make some noise! 

I, like others, believe in freedom, democracy, and the power of the people. Being authentic is essential. Humanity needs to amplify its voice on issues of national concern like the Big Beautiful Bill. Yesterday, I received an email from one of my son's agencies. They are asking  parents and clients to reach out to our legislatures.because the disabled community will be affected by the bill. The goal is to bring parents and clients together to share our concerns that may affect change. 

Collaborative action plans are important for a future-ready world. In classrooms and other educational settings, students work in teams to collaborate with others. They develop goals to reach out to their community as creative thinkers and writers with voice. Will this action shape the future?  Perhaps, but we need to continue supporting students in efforts to learn with vigor, work collaboratively, and develop a spirit of camaraderie and citizenship in this modern-day world that has many flaws.

Ignite the American Spirit

      Authentic voices 

      Make noise as they

      Embark on 

      Roads ahead  

      If freedom devotees

     Commit they will rise

     As responsive Americans ready for

     Next steps:

     Shape outcomes with

     Positive approaches

     Inspire students to

     Reach out with concerns

     Ignite the flame

    To make more noise

     draft CVarsalona, July 4th, 2025

A little push is needed to make legislators understand the needs of all groups.

I will do my part.

***********************

I am late to offer my Poetry Friday blog post but this piece took a great deal of thought. Thank you Mary Lee Hahn, our host this week, for bringing the community together this week. Please read her post, Independence Day Roundup of Protest and Praise for This Complicated Country We Call Home, and other writers' blogs by clicking here. 

Still Waters on the Spiritual Journey

It has been a long, lonely walk since my husband passed away on April 2, 2025. It feels as though I walked through valleys flowing with torrents of rain, waiting for a sign that would wash away sorrows. Upon waking, I realized that I dreamed of still waters that framed our summer days on Long Island. 

I remembered those scenes were we talked, dreamed, and felt the freshness of life. Yet remembering is difficult when grief haunts life. In Long Island, I could find still water spots where peace existed each summer. We were able to drive twenty minutes to enjoy carefree days at the beach. We enjoyed both still waters and days of fast rushing waters. As I look back on photos of past summers, I realize that the times of still waters were also filled with spirituality. There was a spirit of peace at the shore as if God was giving us fuel to propel our journey. Even when we experienced challenging, roaring waters, we could move from these faith-shaking events to deal with the issues before us. 

BUT during this year's late winter and early spring, we were tossed, shaken, and left befuddled by the reality of a rare disease that broke down our psychological well-being and dispositions. We needed still waters for spiritual rest. Unfortunately, that did not come readily. On the last day of my husband's life we found the peace he needed. Each member of the immediate family, felt the spirit of the Lord surrounding my husband as he moved from the transport van to the hospice room, a place of peace and spiritual rest. It was there that he laid in the still waters of faith and let his spirit be lifted from this world.

Since the last day, I have searched for ways to relieve anxiety. The well-know Psalm 23 offers a pause that slowly leads me to a new path on the spiritual journey. With that and Leanna Crawford's Still Waters music video, I feel the cool refreshment of spirituality. Listen to the beautiful song, Still Waters, based on Psalm 23.

Oh, the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

He leads me by still waters 'til my fears are gone.

☀

☀

I wake to summer dreams that flow like still waters.

Even without you, I know you are with me.

The Lord's scripture remains on my heart

and goodness flows like the creek's water.

©CV, 2o25

 ☀

Today is bright with sunshine. The house is quiet. 

I know that I shall find my way on the Spiritual Journey.

 ☀

I join my Spiritual Journey Thursday host, Karen Eastlund who leads us through the theme "still waters" today. Karen shares a remarkable series of adventures she and her husband enjoyed over the years. Her closing thought is "I can think of nothing more beautiful and life-giving than water". Her photo of the sun setting over the still waters of Minnesota is awesome and calming. Click here to read Karen's Blog and other Spiritual Journey writers' post.

Why Write About Navigating Reality?

The amazing poet, professor Kaveh Akbar stated: "Writing is how I make sense of the world". There is so much to be concered about these days. Politics, environment, illness, and loss are daily concerns on the news. Beyond those heavy topics, I ponder navigating my reality. 

Some days the rain takes me to a place of sorrow and loss so I wait for  glorious streams of sunshine to flood the sky. The sun is my benefactor. It starts my day with summer beauty and streams peaceful vibes. But I am not the only one that feels this way. See the short video, "Good Question: Why does the sun make us happy?" 

Today, I shall open my eyes to the beauty of the sky and let positive thoughts filter through (even though thunderous rainstorms came through all day). I send out my letter to heaven above with continued hope that the summer season renews my spirit.

draft of an envelope poem

Writing helps me make sense of the world and my reality.I am submitting this blog post to Two Writing Teachers for the Tuesday Slice of Life. Thank You Two Writing Teachers for offering space for reflective writers ro communicate with each other.

Navigating Reality: Touch of Hope

Photographer: March-Olivier Jodoin at Unsplash

"Today...I open my heart's hand to allow the touch of hope.”

Julia Cameron

🩷

I feel the sorrow of loss and grief

Wondering if flowers feel the same

While wilting in the heat?

Summer heat reminds me that

Your hand no longer gently holds mine

But there is hope waiting

Beyond my spinning dreams. 

Today under an azure sky, nature

Splendidly welcomed morning's peace.

I opened my bleeding heart to life and

Felt the warmth of nature's healing

Peeking through the slats on the shades.

I accept the invitation to indulge in life

Because where there is an open heart

Possibilities open as well!

CVarsalona, draft, 2025

I shall carry this thought throughout the day with hope for peace to settle in.

🩷

This month, the Poetry Sisters, Tanita at{fiction, instead of lies}, Laura at Laura Purdie Salas, Tricia at The Miss Ruphius Effect, Sara at Read Write Believe, Mary Lee Hahn at Another Year of Reading, and Liz at Liz Garton Scanlon, invited  writers to write a couple of couplets and make a raccontino. I am glad they explained the format that I have never tried before. A raccontino is a form that follows these rules: composed of couplets (any number) even-numbered lines that share the same end rhyme, the title and last words of the odd-numbered lines tell a story. I must admit that I struggled with this poetic format.

Silent Disease

Would I have known

What the future planned

When my heart was full of sorrow

And there were multiple demands?

Caregiver was the title given

But I could not withstand

The extent of sorrow

Nor could I understand.

There was a trip to take,

A birthday treat that was grand

To a place of ease

A beach filled with sand,

Summering during winter's end,

Yet you could not fully stand.

Life withered over our last days

Until what was left was in God's hands.

draft ©CVarsalona, 2025

🩷

A Special Thank You To:

Jama Rattigan for lifting my heart and helping me navigate my reality with a special gift, Healing After Loss by Martha W. Hickman. This book inspires me to write about my journey with a touch of hope that summer will open my heart to joy.

🩷

A new poetry friend, Shirley Thacker, shared a lovely poetry swap filled with poetic goodness. She sent me her book, Wind Beneath the Pines, that provides various types of poems which she wrote. This book is special because it comes from the heart. Shirley's husband urged her to "write the stories-the tales about life" and so she did. I am thrilled that Shirley shared her love of poetry with me in such a special way. You can read more about Shirley at Jone Rush MacCulloch's blog. Click here to read Jone's Interview with Shirley. I enjoyed Shirley's poems especially Grandchildren. Her six-word  poems shared her wisdom.

Courage each

Day, walking

Life's road

©Shirley Thacker

🩷

I have lingered a long time trying to make sense of life while piecing the raccontino poem together. I gardened outside with the sun's warmth. Hope touched me, yet I still am unsure how to navigate reality. Healing after loss is a process. I am determined to continue this journey with stride. I thank family, friends, and the poetry community for their support. 

Now I turn my attention to the Poetry Friday Roundup that is hosted this week by one of the Poetry Sisters, Tanita Davis. This week she penned two poems and provided her process. I look forward to reading the contributions of all those who are adding their poems to the Roundup but I go at a slow pace these days.

In ending, I decided to take Shirley Thacker's 6 word poem 

Courage each

Day, walking

Life's road

and write Golden Shovel as inspiration to be present in life daily.

Finding courage

is not easy on each

summer day

perhaps walking

will provide life's

journey a new road

©CVarsalona, 2025