Navigating Reality - A Lament Poem

The days of Lent 2025 have brought me to another phase of my spiritual journey. The urgencies of life have intermingled with the role of caregiving for my beloved husband of 48 years. From mid-February to the first days of April, Richard suffered from a silent disease, a rare type of cancer, a neuroendocrine tumor of the pancreas that metastasized to the liver. His life was filled with celebrations, challenges, and devotion to his family.

Family, neighbors, friends, and the medical care of the Virginia Cancer Specialists helped Richard navigate the reality of his life. As with any cancer disease, there were challenges, sorrows, and a tremendous amount of unease. Faith and hope led me forward as I tried to be a caregiver.

When I heard that my Spiritual Journey community of writers and poets under the direction of Ruth Hersey were writing poems of lament, I knew the Lord was with me. I desired to write but each day as a caregiver left me with little time to write. Thoughts were floating in my head, waiting for spaces of time to let my heart speak on the theme of lament during Richard's and my Lenten journey. The lament format can be found in the Bible Psalms. There are approximately 65 Psalms in the Bible that are poems of lament. These poems express sorrow, grief, pleas for help, and deliverance to God. They address the Lord, share complaints, express emotions, ask for the Divine help, and vow to continue to trust, hope, and praise.

My lament poem narrates the ending days of my beloved husband's life. His quality of life was compromised but through the kindness of the medical teams, family, and friends he found his way to unburden his sorrow. With hope and faith surrounding him, Richard was provided a forever resting place.

Last Days of Richard's Spiritual Journey

In the sterile silence,

Drifting words rose

From the depths of his soul.

Into the morning light.

I wish I had four more months!

The ordeal of terminal illness,

Filled his eyes with unquestionable fear.

I prayed seeking answers.

When will this sorrow end, Lord?

Between restless sleep and days

Of not eating or barely drinking,

He whispered to me,

You know what is happening!

My heart broke hearing the truth.

How could I soothe his tattered soul?

Tears continued to flow; inner turmoil

increased. Cancer tore his soul as

Sorrow sneaked into the room

Splitting quiet in half.

Be gentle with your breath!  

Let go of fears!

Repetitive requests to take medicine

were negated. Agitation increased.

Lord, please hear my prayer! 

With haste, an on-call oncologist advised

An emergency hospital visit.

The 911 team responded within minutes.

Uneasiness floated through the air.

Time slipped by as the ravaged body

Fought for some renewed comfort.

The plea to return home became impossible. 

When did months turn into days, Lord? 

Three days later, a transport arrived

For his journey to the hospice center,

A place of serene quiet. Life

Unexpectedly turned a corner.

Tears fell like dewdrops in spring.

The inevitable happened.

Nurses gathered; the chaplain prayed.

The priest performed the last rites.

Hope soared upward on the

Ever-present wings of love.

The hands of the Lord opened

Offering the gift of a forever home.

Praise to you, Lord, for the blessing! 

His spirit ascended into the inked sky.

Draft ©CVarsalona, April 2025

↴ 

life was shortened

unforeseen happening

nature shared its blooms.

©CVarsalona, 2025 photo and poem

Spring awakens its flowers for Poetry Friday at Irene Latham's blog.

Stop by to be dazzled by Irene's poems and many other writers' work.

NOTE: Later today, a Funeral Mass will be held at St. John Neumann Church in Reston, VA. Richard will find his place among the angels and stars.

I will read the roundup blogs when I can.

Navigating Reality

Today, April 1st unveiled the wonder of a spring day. Birds called to one another, singing their sweet songs. Clouds layered their billowy, flowing apperance above distant mountains and nature dusted earth with budding trees draped in white. All appeared to be peaceful and calm. The stormy weather the night before ushered in April's breaths of newness.

If I could touch the sky with its profound beauty, I might feel the hope that springtime brings and better understand how "the heart regrows hope". (Angie Weiland-Crosby)

spring's beauty unfolds

like blossoming petals

earth renews life

©CVarsalona, April 2025

Join me during National Poetry Month as I navigate reality to find peace and feel the breath of spring renewing life.

Thank you Two Writing Teachers, a meeting place

for a world of reflective writers!

- My Opening Slice of Life for National Poetry Month -

Perhaps, this month I will be able to better navigate reality

during life's challenging times.

Thoughts on a Birthday Celebration

Every year, everyone has a birthday that arrives. This day, March 25th, is my husband's birthday. It happens to be one of those months that fluctuates with a variety of weather trends. Howling winds, chilly night, and springlike temperatures arrived. Even thought the birthday comes at a difficult time in our lives, we will celebrate because there is always room for cake, candles, and happiness on this special day.

I have a special wish this year. Let there be a pause from the medical issues. Emily Dickinson reminds me that aging is not a negative. ⤵

"We turn not older with years, but newer every day."

Time to Pause and Celebrate

years pass

life broadens

memories are etched in our hearts

while love grows like blossoming flowers

harvesting hope

renewing faith

persevering onward

©CVarsalona, March 2025

Today is Day 25  of the March SOLSC#SOL25.

Thank you Two Writing Teachers for the space to write 

with a reflective, worldwide group of educators.

Writer's Note:

This is the first trinet poem that I have written. There are 7 lines in the format. Lines three and four have six words in each line. All other lines have 2 words per line.

Welcome the Season of Renewal

I welcome a new season into the world but am perplexed that it rushed in with loud whooshes of wind. Night winds turned into early morning winds with slower speed and different swirling sounds. It was then that I realized it was Day 2 of the new season of renewal. Did Mother Nature open its azure skies to remind me, and the world, that "When one flower blooms, spring awakens everywhere" (Walter C. Hagen)?

Life is fragile, uncertain, and when you least expect it becomes a bump in the journey. I am in the middle of a unexpected happening that is gushing with whooshing winds. Yet, the beginning of spring soothes my soul. Holding on to the idea of spring, a season of renewal, alters the fragility and uncertainty of life. Spring becomes the magical potion for a spiritual awakening.

See entire poem by CRossetti here.

INVITATION to CELEBRATE the SEASON of RENEWAL

Reception this weekend-please attend.

Enjoy ebulating excitement and the

Newness of nature's season.

Embrace life's awakening and  

Wonder about the beauty of cherry blossoms. 

Applaud the sweet song of the birds-Pause,

Let's all launch the season together.

©CVarsalona, 2025

The above logo was created by Rose Cappelli, the host of the Poetry Friday Roundup. Rose shares spring poems by E.E. Cummings and Billy Collins. She also has a draft poem on Spring. You can see the poetic goodness offered by the Poetry Friday community at Rose's Imagine the Possibilities.

Today is Day 21 of the March SOLSC #SOL25.

Thank you Two Writing Teachers for the space to write 

with a reflective, worldwide group of educators.

Nature at Peace

In the silence of evening, stillness evokes peace. Nature floats in the quietude until the morning breaks. At that time, the world stretches its arms, unfolds its layers, and renews another day. 

This morning I pause with prayer waiting for a sliver of light to break through the darkness. "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. -  Psalm 90:14

↓

morning breaks

slivers of light unfold darkness

earth sings its praises

gentle winds bring renewed thoughts

nature spreads its seeds of joy

©cvarsalona, 2025 draft tanka

If you have not heard Morning Has Broken by Cat Stevens, it is one of my favorite songs. (Beautiful song sung at my wedding) 

Today is Poetry Friday and I am delighted that I woke early to write my post.

Janice Scully is our host today. She honors Women's History Month with pride.

Logo created by Margaret Simon

Today is also Day 14 of the March SOLSC #SOL25

Thank you Two Writing Teachers for the space to write 

with a reflective, worldwide group of educators.

Dreams

I wake pondering where time went. My laptop is on my lap just where I left it last night. I don't remember not finishing my Poetry Friday post. Night must have shifted into morning like the speed of lightning. I rise surprised. What happened? 

All I remember is being exhausted by the events of yesterday. A visit to the eye specialist left me numb. Shocked by the news of a possible retina tear on top of the husband's condition. The word, CANCER, dug deeper into my thoughts. My reaction was to find a way to handle both issues, my eye and his disease. Thoughts rattled in my mind. 

Breathe in-Breathe out-Meditate! These are ways to reduce the stress that blackens the room. I found a quote from someone who understood the challenges of life. 

Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two breaths, or turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.

- Etty Hillesum, Dutch Jewish author who was murdered in  Auschwitz during WW II

DREAMS

jagged edges

of night dreams

haunt me

back and forth

they sway

slipping away

into reality

f e a r

may find its nooks

But h o p e

becomes IMPLANTED in my HEART!

©CVarsalona, February, 2025

The above poem was originally written during Laura Shovan's Annual February Poetry Project and refined this morning. I was to write about a dream, positive, negative, or just strange - about a moment in this year's political history?

My first thought was world tensions mount. Illness adds to sleepless nights.

Did you know that politics are keeping American up at night? Nearly 60% of adults struggle to fall asleep due to political worries. - 50AASM

After reading about Etty Hillesum caught in the midst of the Holocaust, I want to learn more about her writings.

 

A new day begins. I will remember to breathe and meditate on my spiritual journey to wholeness (My Spiritual Journey post on Wholeness is here. Thank you, slicer/poet, Denise Krebs for adding my blog post for the group to read.)

Thank you Margaret Simon, host of Poetry Friday,

for the support you have provided the past two months.

I am very late for the Poetry Friday Roundup but

I am off the mark lately. I will make the rounds this weekend.

For now, I am headed to an retina specialist.

The above Poetry Firday umage was created by Margaret Simon.

Day 8 of the March SOLSC #SOL25

Thank you Two Writing Teachers for the space to write 

with a worldwide group of educators.

Spiritual Journey to Wholeness/#SOL25

On this day of howling winds, I am pondering the Spiritual Journey Thursday theme of wholeness suggested by our host, Denise Krebs at Dare To Care. I am preoccupied as a caregiver for my husband who is battling a rare form of cancer in the pancreas and liver. I feel unsure of what the days ahead will be like so wholeness is something I would like to strive for.

What is Wholeness?

It is not the charred pieces of prolonged challenges that breaks my hearts. It is not the damaged bits of aloneness or the stirring unsettled pressures of worry and discontent. Wholeness is like a puzzle coming together with patience (another something I need to acquire).

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, wholeness is the quality of being or feeling complete and not divided or damaged. In a spiritual sense, wholeness is the Unseen Hand gathering the broken or damaged pieces of my journey and binding them together. Support is needed to continue my journey of faith and hope and bringing healing moments to the assorted chipped pieces. 

I found this beautiful quote by Maya Angelou and penned a draft poem that moves me from sadness to a renewed outlook. ⬇

Nothing can dim the light that shines from within. - Maya Angelou

Nessessity

healing the dark sadness of nothing

requires a light within that can

not be dim

it must fill the

everyday moments with bright light

slowly opening that

portal which shines

and restores the soul from

unwanted stress to newness within

draft ©CVarsalona, 2025

Golden Shovel from Maya Angelo

A New Day Awakens

on a winter day an azure blue sky looks down on life

whispy cloud-cushions prepare for flight

as angels circulate sprinkling earth with warmth to awaken life

nature floods earth

with the spirit of wholeness

the journey continues 

draft ©CVarsalona, 2025

Photo from Margaret Simon for This Photo Wants to be a Poem

Day 6 of the March SOLSC #SOL25

11 years of Writing Slices of Life

A Winter Delight

An amaryllis is always waiting to delight and surprise you, even when your world seems cold and dark. - Susan Meissner, Only the Beautiful

one day a winter gift came my way

amaryllis

statuesque

in

demeanor

amaryllis

renewing

life

hope-bearing

amaryllis

one day a winter gift came my way

©CVarsalona, 2025

With my winter gift, I can lean on hope during dark days and know that my one word, renew, is guiding me. Several times since December, my amaryllis has renewed itself. Its deep red flowers welcome me to sit and be quiet. 

Day 2 of the March SOLSC #SOL25

11 Years of Writing Slices of Life

Day 1 can be found here. 

Time To Be with March SOLSC #SOL25

March opens with a flicker of light, a smack of cold weather, and  thoughts of renewal. It is a timely month where writers gather to reflect, renew friendships, and offer mindful moments of thought. 

So without further ado, I start the month-long challenge that Two Writing Teachers offer in March each year. My SOLSC #SOL25 will consist of daily dialogues in poetic formats with digital art. I will open my Sanctuary of Thought with hopes that you will join me on my journey. We all need time to dream, time to remember, time to reach for the infinite, and just time to be.

Thank you fellow slicer, Ramona Behnke, for sharing the above inspirational quote with me. It inspired me to use a digital tool, Fotojet, to pen my opening haiku.

Day 1 of the March SOLSC #SOL25

11 Years of Writing Slices of Life