Dreams seem to flow in and out of my mind lately. They sweep across each night, but I rarely remember a complete dream. I try to keep parts of each dream lodged inside my memory, but I usually fall asleep, and then, the dream vanishes.
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At the beginning of May, the Poetry Sisters, Liz Garton Scanlon, Tanita at{fiction, instead of lies}, Laura Purdie Salas,Tricia atThe Miss Rumphius Effect, Sara at Read Write Believe, and Mary Lee Hahn, invited writers to join their challenge. They have been in conversation with Elizabeth Bishop's "Letter to N.Y.", using the golden shovel format created by poet Terrance Hayes. As one of the #PoetryPals, I have constructed a draft of a poem entitled Letter To Heaven with bits and pieces of night dreams and two strike lines from Bishop's mentor text: 1. where everything seems to happen in waves, and 2. nevertheless, I'd like to know.
On this spring-scented May day, where
thoughts float through the clouds, everything
reminds me of our last goodbye. It seems
unreal without you here to
hold my hand and handle finances. What will happen
to your paperwork, stacked up in
piles that push forward as rapidly, ascending waves?
Life seems difficult now,nevertheless,
I must continue to move forward. I'd
be content wishing upon a star like
a child learning how to
enjoy life. For now, I need help being in the know.
It is time now for me to add my #PoetryPals themed poem to the Poetry Friday Roundup. The lovely poet/author Karen Edmisten is our host this week. Thank you, Karen, for supporting me through this difficult chapter of my life. I shall meet you at your blog site. For those interested in the Poetry Friday weekly roundup, please visit Karen's blog here. 19 writers besides Karen are sharing their work.
Coping with loss is a difficult process. It is as fierce at tornado winds cutting across horizons and as piercing as a loud noise that jolts the heart. Yet, it is my reality now. Each day, grief tugs at my heart in different ways. Slices of dreams sweep through the nights. I am confronted by what you left behind and what I need to do to help the family remain strong. It is not easy, yet it is my reality. I cannot take away the pain now but I can search for ways to find some peace.
Shadorma Poem
Listen to Celine Dion deliver a beautiful, soulful song, My Heart Will Go On. Clickhere.
Now, I will send this blog post off to the host of Poetry Friday, the wonderful artist, writer, and poet, Michelle Kogan. You can find lovely artwork and a link to her Etsy collection at Michell's site. Also, you will discover a group of poets and writers who sent their work in for the Poetry Friday Roundup much earlier than mine.
Last Sunday was a blessed day. The extended family gathered together to celebrate Sierra, my oldest grandaughter's, First Holy Communion at St. John Newumann's Church. As Sierra prepared for this spiritual event, the family gathered together. Only one person was missing. It was my husband who passed away a month earlier. With love in my heart, I found a way to have Richard present at both the Church ceremony and the after Mass celebration. Sounds impossible? Read on!
The banner that you see below was originally created by my mother for my granddaughter. I wanted to include my husband, Richard, into the artistic piece that was placed at the end of each reserved family pew. Under the section with Sierra's name, I added a piece of Richard's purple tie. Since Sierra loves the color purple it was a perfect fit. You can also see the edge of another purple border at the bottom. I felt Richard's presence with the family on Sierra's First Communion day. He was with us in spirit and within the banner.
Time together as a family is a gift. -Joanna Gaines
Although it is late for me to submit my Poetry Friday post,
I have thought all week about memorializing Sierra's special day
while remembering my husband.
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Thank you Sarah Grace Tuttle for hosting the Poetry Friday Roundup. She is smiling as she combats darkness by reveling in community and this is wonderful.
Tonight is Family Night so I will check in with Poetry Friday writer when I come home.
The flowers in my garden are budding, and Spring is in the air. A sky full of sunshine brings peace as the birds tweet to one another, and I continue my thoughts on the blossoming themechosen for the Spiritual Journey Thursday writers. You can read my thoughts as the hostand other writers' perspectives on blossoming here.
According to AI, the concept of blossoming "symbolizes spiritual growth, transformation, and the beauty that can emerge even in difficult or barren times". As many of you know, I am feeling the pangs of bereavement that come into my heart in different ways. Sometimes, it floats in the sun-filled sky, offering silent time. Other times, it adds drama to an ordinary spring day. The beginning of May, with bright sunshine, warmth, and various colored blossoms, brings back memories of past gardens, leisurely walks at the beach, and time spent together.
Over the weekend, I am looking forward to reading both the SJT and Poetry Friday communities' blogs. Thank you, Mary Lee Hahn, for hosting today's Poetry Friday here. She is sharing her NPM project, Speak Truth To Power.
I enter the lovely month of May with hope, although my heart is filled with grief.
I dedicate today's blog and poems to my husband, Richard, who loved trees blooming with various shades of color, especially our magnolia specimens and the dwarf cherry tree. I patiently watch for more blooming during this month.
This year, my spiritual journey has felt like a rough road with lots of gravel to step over. Yet, a well-known quote by the Japanese poet Kohayashi Issa gives me hope as I traverse the roads ahead.
A world of grief and pain. Flowers bloom, even then.
Issa's words center on the themes of resilience and hope. Springtime opens the world to beauty despite suffering, sorrow, and world chaos. It is up to me to believe in the nurturing of nature and the power of faith during this time of bereavement. What once was surreal has now become a reality. I know I need to lean on my family and present and past communities of friends for support. Marcel Proust stated that we should "be grateful to people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
Psalm 37:3-5 Tells me to trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
My heart desires to be calm and be of good faith. When I signed up to host the Spiritual Journey, I felt blossoming would be an appropriate theme for May since it connotes a renewal, a new beginning, and personal growth. I did not think that I would face the sudden death of my husband and go through a period of grief. I understand the future will be difficult without my partner, but I know I must move forward with hope.
I often write about the beauty of life. For this poem, I decided to find a format that I have not tried. I chose the Japanese kouta poem. According to AI, this poem is "about ordinary life focusing on the beauty and significance of everyday moments and experiences". It contains a quatrain with the syllable count of 7, 7, 7, 5 or 7, 5, 7, 5.
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