Welcome to May's Spiritual Journey Thursday!
I enter the lovely month of May with hope, although my heart is filled with grief.
I dedicate today's blog and poems to my husband, Richard, who loved trees blooming with various shades of color, especially our magnolia specimens and the dwarf cherry tree. I patiently watch for more blooming during this month.
This year, my spiritual journey has felt like a rough road with lots of gravel to step over. Yet, a well-known quote by the Japanese poet Kohayashi Issa gives me hope as I traverse the roads ahead.
A world of grief and pain. Flowers bloom, even then.
Issa's words center on the themes of resilience and hope. Springtime opens the world to beauty despite suffering, sorrow, and world chaos. It is up to me to believe in the nurturing of nature and the power of faith during this time of bereavement. What once was surreal has now become a reality. I know I need to lean on my family and present and past communities of friends for support. Marcel Proust stated that we should "be grateful to people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
Psalm 37:3-5 Tells me to trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
My heart desires to be calm and be of good faith. When I signed up to host the Spiritual Journey, I felt blossoming would be an appropriate theme for May since it connotes a renewal, a new beginning, and personal growth. I did not think that I would face the sudden death of my husband and go through a period of grief. I understand the future will be difficult without my partner, but I know I must move forward with hope.
I often write about the beauty of life. For this poem, I decided to find a format that I have not tried. I chose the Japanese kouta poem. According to AI, this poem is "about ordinary life focusing on the beauty and significance of everyday moments and experiences". It contains a quatrain with the syllable count of 7, 7, 7, 5 or 7, 5, 7, 5.
Dear Carol - I am working on a post and hope to get it up later today, possibly tomorrow. I want to respond now, though, to thank you for this beautiful post honoring Richard's memory. Although you could not have known you would would be writing this after his passing, the "blossoming" theme feels perfect. Certainly for May flowers, coming along to remind us of renewal and resilience, but that also that our faith, ever-maturing, does the same. I love the new poem form and even more so, the image of Richard collecting a bouquet for you in heaven. One day, our faith will be made sight - in a way, we will BE the bouquet. I want to thank you for always seeing the beauty around us and guiding us to do the same in your gentle way. Your meditative words help to carve a path through all the fear, anxiety, rage, and blame with which the world loves to keep distracting and debasing us. Your posts are like rest stops along the path, where one can breathe the flower-fragrance deep, and be strengthened for the journey. I continue to pray this for you and your family, remaining deeply moved and grateful for the inspiration and courage you impart.
ReplyDeleteFran, you brought a new level of peace to me this morning-a perfect way to feel renewed for the start of May. Last night I saw Richard in my dream. Perhaps this is his way to let me know that love still exists even if it is virtual. There was no beautiful bouquet in the scene, just him next to me offering his love. Thank you for your powerful prayers and your thoughts that felt like calming waves.
DeleteCarol, I finally finished my post and linked it. Just wanted to say i am awed by the way our loved ones return in dreams, so clear and so real, to comfort us. I had a similar experience recently and it brought much-needed healing. Love still exists. Love lives forever.
Delete(Fran Haley)
DeleteSee you at SJT this week.
DeleteCarol, I am touched that you would have the energy to host this month's spiritual journey. You poem is beautiful and such a tribute to Richard. I hope you find solace in writing and noticing nature. There are few things that affect us like grief. Give yourself the grace to ride the waves.
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I always look forward to our Spiritual Journey group writing. I do feel solace in writing. I think it stems from my teenage years. I have a vivid memory of me walking alone in the neighborhood admiring the beauty of the day. Your advice on giving myselt grace to ride the waves is absolutely lovely. I shall remember that when life feels stormy. I look forward to reading your Spiritual Journey blog.
DeleteHi Carol: I also am in awe of your ability to share your thoughts and feelings at this difficult time. Thank you for your energy and open heart. Your poem reveals grief as well as gratitude and strength. I'm so glad you feel at peace. My blog is up. I am in the middle of a number of things just now, so I used a poem I had used before. Nonetheless, I appreciate your prompt and willingness to host, and I will read all the others as I get a chance. Blessings all.
ReplyDeleteHi Carol: For some reason I'm listed as Anonymous... its Karen Eastlund!
ReplyDeleteKaren, I am sorry that I am commenting to you at this late date. Life just seems to move on while I am trying to find my balance. At the end of every day, I fall asleep while trying to write. I am glad that I looked back to feel the generosity of your spirit.
DeleteCarol, like the other SJT friends, I am astounded at your willingness to blog and host during this time. I think of your family often and lift all of you up in prayer. Your kouta poem is beautiful and reflects the deep love you continue to share with Richard even though you're separated for a time. These words from your post touched my heart - "Springtime opens the world to beauty despite suffering, sorrow, and world chaos."
ReplyDeleteBlessings and hugs, my friend. May you continue to be blessed during this difficult time.
Ramona, I am sorry that I have not added a comment to your comment until now. Each week seems heavy to me but this week especially. I just took a 35 minute walk in my community and it opened my eyes to so many memories. Now is the time to fill in the blanks on my SJT Summering blog. See you soon.
DeleteCarol, you are an inspiration. I see you putting one foot in front of the other on a path of faith. I cannot tell you how much this means to me...I've needed this in my life. Thank you. I love the image of Richard collecting blossoms for you in heaven. Sending you love, love and more love.
ReplyDeleteLinda, your love blossom thoughts that you send me bring a sense of warmth.. I am blessed by your caring words that lift me up. I recently found an unsigned Mother's Day card Richard hid. It is touching. He never got a chance to sign it but the sentiment is there.
DeleteCarol, as others have said, thank you for hosting this month during your time of sorrow and readjustment. Richard continues to gather bouquets for you with each new flower that blooms, with each cloud formation in a blue sky, with each smile on your granddaughters' faces. May the beauty of this season bring you comfort and peace knowing one day you will be together again, and Richard will be waiting with a big bouquet of flowers. I offer continued prayers for you. Bob
ReplyDeleteBob, there is much to love in your response. I feel blessed as I read the SJT thoughts.Today was my first walk in the community-35 minutes of springtime bliss. I listened to the many sounds of nature and felt the warmth of the sun. Walking back into the house is difficult. Now I am off to ponder the art of summering since today feels like one.
DeleteDearest Carol, Your faith is a salve for me. To see the blossoms of spring as a sign of rebirth, of hope amidst sadness and grief is a gift of the Spirit. I pray you grow stronger in faith everyday. We walk with you, friend!
ReplyDeletePatricia, it is a month later since I wrote this blog. I am filled with sorrow, grief, and emptiness but I thank you for telling me that you walk with me. It is difficult to regurgitate the details of the past months. I try to do this with a smile but inside me there is a tear waiting to erupt. For all those who know grief, I lift a prayer with hopes that God's blessings come forth.
DeleteCarol, praying for you as you take this journey. Your "wanting to move forward with hope" is something so powerful and comforting. There will be a winding road of grief and comfort, no doubt, but the hope can remain. I thank you for sharing your journey with us, for being a mentor. I am listening to Sam Cooke and smiling about that bouquet Richard to gathering in heaven.
ReplyDeleteDenise, as I said to Patricia, I am sorry for responding to your comment from May 2nd so late. I wonder how time passed by so fast. This past week was full of stress and difficulties but I made an attempt to talk a walk. This helped but the emptiness inside flashes too many times. I am off to SJT to give my thoughts on the gift of summering.
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