It has been a long process to understand what grief is and how to manage its effects on life. At the end of July my family will travel to Cape May and Long Island to celebrate my husband as per his wishes. We have so many memories of those amazing summer days at the shore, frolicking in the ocean, eating fresh seafood, and watching little grandgirls enjoying the sunshine and ice cream.
One of fellow writing poets, Linda Mitchell, sent me a comment on my recent blog post, Understanding Grief. It's not necessarily the memory of a thing but how a loved one interacted or responded to a thing that is the sharp edge of a memory." This blog post as created based on Linda's thoughts and support.
Memories appear in my conversations, photos, and life events. The family and I respond with loving thoughts of my husband who has been part of my life for 50 years, if we count the 2 years before we married. At the end of July we would have been married for 49 years. At the different shores that we travel to we will remember what was in our sunkissed summers and what will be as we celebrate Richard who loved the Long Island shore, especially at Jones Beach, Long Beach, and Rockaway Beach. Long before I met him he and his friends spent summers enjoying their time with each other at the ocean so the family will do the same this vacation. There will be beach time, traveling to favorite restaurants, enjoying a variety of ice creams, and meeting with friends we have known for years, all to honor Richard.
As Charles Bowden said, " Summertime is always the best of what might be." Add to that William Carlos Williams' quote, "In the summer, the song sings itself". Summer is the season that families enjoy and so we are already making our itinerary and gathering our clothes for 9 days of vacationing in nature's waters and sunkissed sands.
So many lovely thoughts gathered here. So sorry for your loss but inspired by your summertime gathering. Seems the perfect remedy to grief.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and sending me your comment. I wish I knew who you are, Anonymous.
DeleteI love the way you will honor and keep alive your husband's greatest joys of summer with your family. And it's true-it's how a loved one responded or interacted to something that evokes the fondest memories. And at the beach, you can write letters in the sand to your husband-dad-grandpa. Enjoy your loving memories.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, letters in the sand sound like fun. I will introduce that idea to my little grandgirls. Thanks for stopping by and sending me a lovely response.
DeleteCarol, I think this writing and remembering and upcoming travel are all part of the heart-mending necessary when we lose such an important person in our lives. Sending you lots of hugs and peace as you continue finding ways to grieve .
ReplyDeleteGlenda, I appreciate your hugs and wishes for piece. Yes, writing is soothing now in the grieving stage. The family looks forward to our celebration of love in Cape May and the Long Island Shore.
DeleteI really appreciated your openness today. I suspect I will revisit this blog when I need it.
ReplyDeleteWe lost our three remaining parents in a year and a half. That was/is hard. Just yesterday I sat in my car - which used to belong to my parents - and touched the dents made by my dad’s cane. Trading this 10 year old car will be hard because of the dents (not because the dents might affect its price)….
Writing through is so powerful and healing. However it is also painful. Bravo for this very poweful and emotional piece. There is so much here. Sending you and your family strength and light through the cyber waves. Thank-you for this!
ReplyDeleteMorna, writing is one way to deal with grief. I just read your slice and left you a message because I thought your story brings to light how medicine has advanced and people are becoming more accustomed to the disabled community.
DeleteOops! This is "Me"
ReplyDelete