On Understanding Grief

It has been a long process to understand what grief is and how to manage its effects on life. At the end of July my family will travel to Cape May and Long Island to celebrate my husband as per his wishes. We have so many memories of those amazing summer days at the shore, frolicking in the ocean, eating fresh seafood, and watching little grandgirls enjoying the sunshine and ice cream. 

One of fellow writing poets, Linda Mitchell, sent me a comment on my recent blog post, Understanding Grief. It's not necessarily the memory of a thing but how a loved one interacted or responded to a thing that is the sharp edge of a memory." This blog post as created based on Linda's thoughts and support.

Memories appear in my conversations, photos, and life events. The family and I respond with loving thoughts of my husband who has been part of my life for 50 years, if we count the 2 years before we married. At the end of July we would have been married for 49 years. At the different shores that we travel to we will remember what was in our sunkissed summers and what will be as we celebrate Richard who loved the Long Island shore, especially at Jones Beach, Long Beach, and Rockaway Beach. Long before I met him he and his friends spent summers enjoying their time with each other at the ocean so the family will do the same this vacation. There will be beach time, traveling to favorite restaurants, enjoying a variety of ice creams, and meeting with friends we have known for years, all to honor Richard.   

As Charles Bowden said, " Summertime is always the best of what might be." Add to that William Carlos Williams' quote, "In the summer, the song sings itself". Summer is the season that families enjoy and so we are already making our itinerary and gathering our clothes for 9 days of vacationing in nature's waters and sunkissed sands. 

A Memory for Richard

 

sending summer's sunkissed thoughts

beyond the gates of heaven

where eternal peace flows

we will dig into summer sands

splash into diamond-sparkling waters

and honor your summertime state of mind

©CVarsalona, 2025

🩷We Remember Long Beach's Summers that Brought Sunshine and Joy🩷

©CVarsalona, 2025, digital art

In Jeremiah 31:13 it says "I will turn their morning into joy".

This heavenly promise will help me turn mourning into joy as I continue my journey of healing and renewal. I embrace hope during our upcoming celebration that honors my husband, who was a loving father, and grandfather.

I join today's SLICE OF LIFE at Two Writing Teachers,

a  place where reflective writers write,share, and give.

Gift of Your Heart

An anniversary is a time for roses, dinner out, and a pause from our household to-do lists. This year, I flashback to 48 years ago. I can still smell the scent of gardenias wrapped in love, the delicious taste of the Italian cookie tray carried throughout the reception by my Nonnie, and the late-night rain. Where has the time gone? Has it been cloaked in obligations, to-do lists, and expectancies? I wonder if we pause enough to consider the magnitude of the word togetherness?

I may not know the answers to the questions I pose but I do know that time has been full of fleeting moments sweeping throughout the decades. I peel through physical and virtual albums that hold a treasury of thoughts. Some pictures are faded from years of storage and others are memorialized. The heart knows what exists. 

I have been thinking about life lately. I surmise that life is a series of moments remembered in intentional pauses. Tucked away in each sacred moment there is a foundational piece called love. It floats in and out like the waves upon the shore. Love is the underlying emotion that knows no bounds. Is love sometimes hidden due to unexpected events and fears?

I have been taking a walk down memory lane awaiting the actual date and coincidentally came across the collage below. Anniversaries celebrate gifts of the heart so the collage and poems are my gift to my husband.

💗Another Year of Togetherness💗

💗

💗Gift of Your Heart💗

Within the bonds of love shall we give

streams of floating waves of

pause-itivity time to savor your

thoughts from the heart?

©CVarsalona, 2024

💗

As a child, I stared into the stain glass mural of St. Francis of Assisi each day I walked into grammar school. The following inspiration thought by St. Francis was quoted in The Sun & Moon Over Assisi by Gerard Thomas Straub.

Where there is love and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance.

💗

Both my husband and I enjoy the writings of Kahlil Gibran. I offer his beautiful prose poem on love.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the     pillars of   the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow. -Kahlil Gibran

You can also read the lengthier piece, On Marriage found at the Poetry Foundation that holds this beautiful line: And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. 

💗

 

Join me at Laura Purdie Salas' blog post for this week's Poetry Friday Roundup. It's the book birthday for her new children's picture book, Line Leads the Way. Take a sneak peek to let the fun begin. I plan on sharing the short videos with my little grandgirls who will come to Grandma's house again. Then, off we go to our long-awaited, week-long, family beach vacation in Cape May, New Jersey.

This year, Little Lila makes her debut sitting on the sand

and Grandma and Grandpa celebrate year number 48.

Blissful Beach Vacation

There’s nothing like a relaxing beach vacation to nurture my summer soul. The lull of the sea, the beauty of clouds billowing in the sky, and the warm sand bring me back to my happy place. Let me take you along on a visual journey to Cape May, America's oldest seaside resort. 

Imagine the wind blowing in your hair as the ferry cruises across the Delaware Bay. Riders find railings to watch the seagulls circulate overhead as the seafoam surfaces below. After landing, people travel into the historic town by the sea, filled with vibrant Painted Ladies, and Victorian houses, proudly displaying their architectural beauty with gingerbread trim and multiple colors that mostly date back to the late 18oos. A quick sightseeing tour can take you to the beach where magnificent mansions face the ocean.  

During our summer holiday, we listen to the sound of lapping waves rushing toward the shoreline, the giggling sounds of children, including my little grandgirls, chasing approaching waves in the sand. We watch swooping seagulls circle in toward the beach. My granddaughter shares her excitement as she spots a dolphin's fin pop up in the distance. I notice hot air balloons floating across the sky with their rider. Life is tranquil at the beach bringing a feeling of serenity. There is a sweet mix of beaching, boating, eating gourmet dinners and delicious breakfast foods, and pleasurable leisure time. The sunsets are magnificent and the ice cream stores are delicious. Cape May is the place where every member of the family can enjoy life. I certainly did as I spent time soaking in the sights and relaxing. 

Photos by Ben Prepelka
Scenic USA FAA Photography

painted ladies proud as peacocks

line up in fashionable style

waiting for ogling eyes to call

©CV, 2022, Cape May, NJ

Today is Poetry Friday and Dave is hosting for the very first time with an etheree poem. He adds an interesting statement at the end of his blog. "To me, poetry has been my way of finding castles among the ordinary things and even making ordinary things stick out like castles." I am now joining him and other poets at Dave's blog here. 

Mini-Vacation Bliss

Vacations are meant for enjoyment, a relaxed pace, and lingering in the wonder of just being. This past week, my family soaked in the blessings of nature during a wonderful mini-vacation to Cape May, New Jersey. The ocean called to me and I could not resist its invitation to indulge in the art of leisurely living.  After all, I miss the beach, slow walks on the boardwalk, and soaking in the sun's rays. 

When summer seas combine with sunlit skies

and waves crest in diamond-studded waters,

high expectations rise.

Nature offers a sweet surprise

of creamed-colored seaside dreams

when summer seas combine with sunlit skies.

Nature does not always comply. Storms arise

with abrupt torrents causing harm. Will

high expectations rise?

Summer has its ups, downs, but softly sighs

as rainbows arc the sky with grace

when summer seas combine with sunlit skies.

As a marshmallow-colored sky dries,

Nature clears away some fears. Will

high expectations rise?

Alas, the season waves its goodbyes

passing its torch to autumn's brilliant flame

when summer seas combine with sunlit skies

high expectations rise.

©cv, 2021, draft

The villanelle is a challenging nineteen-line poetic form of five tercets followed by a quatrain. You can read more about it at Writers Digest. When the Poetry Sisters decided that this month's challenge would be a villanelle around some kind of dichotomy, I cringed. I never wrote a villanelle before and I just came back from a delightful vacation. So I slipped into this challenge knowing that I needed support. I am open to any suggestions on how to improve this poem because I know that is ROUGH around all edges. At least, I tried something that was way beyond my comfort zone.

Unfortunately, my timing is off so excuse me as I tiptoe into the Poetry Friday Roundup at my poetry friend Becky Herzog's blog, Sloth Reads. Happy International Friendship Day, Becky! Thanks for reminding us and sharing your recent summer poem swap from Jone MacCulloch.

Making Memories at the Shore

Memories-

snapshots in time

glistening like brilliant jewels

tucked away in hearts 

waiting to be polished

For years, I tucked away my memories in albums, then indexed them in boxes, and finally resorted to unsorted piles. This was not an efficient way to recall lifetime events. The iPhone, has made it much easier for me to capture and store memories. 

Remembering helping my 14-month-old grandbaby set up for this photo taken by my daughter

Years ago when my family went to Disney World, I heard a catchy song, Makin' Memories. As the song says, "Taking pictures is making memories, catching little pieces of time, making them yours, and making them mine...Celebrations we can forget in a year. When we're making memories happiness can reappear." 

Photos do make happiness reappear so last night after returning from my family and extended family trip to Cape May, I diligently edited my photos. Each time I added a new photo, another memory from the trip was recalled. I lingered in those memories that included many shots of my precious little grandbaby at the Jersey shore. 

What memories have you captured with your camera this summer? 

Does each one add to your concept of summering?

Here is my morning Instagram post with one of my memories that was digitized.

It's Slice of Life Tuesday at Two Writing Teachers.

Join me to read what others are slicing about.

Celebrating Baby's 1st Summer Holiday

The sky warms summer sands

with brilliant light

just as a sweet baby's 

smile warms hearts.

***

...and so the story unfolds

of a first summer holiday

with a precious granddaughter.

***

The sun kissed shore each morning

and the crescent moon

cradled baby to sleep.

In between, family gathered

to celebrate life!

***

Each moment

was a cherished celebration

so now, I sit back

remembering

baby's first 

Cape May summer holiday.

Life is meant to be spent 

with those who give you their heart

and you give yours in return.

****

Tonight, I celebrate with writing colleagues who value writing from the heart: Celebrate This Week with Ruth Ayres and Slice of Life with Two Writing Teachers. 

The beauty of Cape May provides a backdrop for wonder. You can see more photos from a 2015 mini-vacation here. 

Celebrate Wonder

“Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.”

Socrates 

When I travel to new sites, I am filled with wonder. I see natural beauty existing around me and with a news lens observe life more closely. As I notice more, I become filled with a sense of awe and discovery that leads to new knowledge and new inquiries. This past week, I connected with nature to uncover the majesty of the world. Through the simple act of wondering I allowed my mind to explore life in new ways so today I celebrate the act of wondering.

Observing nature leads to many wonders.

Cape May is a stunning place to wonder about life as it was to what it is now-from a Victorian seaside village to a 21st century vacation spot. Our family mini-vacation allowed me to celebrate joy and create some digital vibes.

While watching the sunset at Sunset Beach, Cape May, I wondered how the sun creates such magnificent colors of beauty. Many people also wondered as the sun bid day goodby. I was told that watching of the sunset is a nightly ritual in Cape May. 

Cape May has so much history that it is easy to get caught up in the act of wondering. From the Five and Dime with the working soda fountain to the old lighthouse, I noticed and wondered about life back then. 

The act of wondering causes me to stop-think-reflect on nature's beauty. Stepping back from the Cape May beach surrounding the lighthouse, I was able to capture this moment when all was peaceful in the heat of a summer day. 

There is wonder all around us, you just have to "stop and smell the roses" or in this case stop and smell the salt air to know that life is full.

Now please stroll over to Ruth Ayres' Celebrate This Week site to discover how other bloggers have celebrated their week. 

Celebrating Joy

Have you ever found yourself waiting anxiously for information, news, a special event, or a significant life decision? During that time were you hopeful or were you stressed while pondering an outcome? At the beginning of this week, there was a call to believe in God's plan to stay grounded in life's journey. The message was a positive one delivered at a summer service at the beach. It was one of those serendipitous moments that intersected life and left my husband and I locked in thought. 

After a long week, God's plan was revealed and peace found. Driving home from a family weekend, the iPhone announced, "arrived," marking the end of a summer mini-trip and beautiful family memory. I now celebrate the joyful experiences that came out of a week of waiting. The photo collage of the weekend speaks of the joy of family connecting and bonding.

Be Joyful in Life!

Celebrate the here and now.

A wedding anniversary

My daughter's new job

A summer trip to Cape May and Wildwood

Summer splashings at the beach

The beauty of a summer sunset

A gorgeous moonlit night

Family fun and relaxation

Conversation

New beginnings

Love!

Enjoy the music of Bobby Rydell, Wildwood Days, Wildwood, New Jersey's signature song.

Please travel over to Ruth Ayres Writes for Celebrate This Week. There, Ruth offers resources for writing teachers.